I hate the F word... I mean really hate it... in my opinion the only people that use the F word are ignorant or crude or worse yet, trying to 'sound cool'... ummm NO! NOT cool! So... okay... as I'm sure my neighbors will attest, why then did they hear the words "you F'in this".. and "F'in that" being screamed in my front yard this morning? I hate to admit it, but yeah.. that was my foul-mouthed rant that the whole neighborhood heard this mornin'... For 40 minutes straight they were entertained by a stream of profanity so loud and colorful it would have made a Quentin Tarrentino movie sound like Disney had gotten their hands in on the editing process! And what caused this uncharacteristic rant? A little 17 pound dog that JUST WON'T GET HER F'IN ASS IN THE F'IN HOUSE! GGGGRRR!!!
For 40 minutes I tried to capture the little shit... all I wanted to do was leave for work... that's all... is that too much to ask?? Apparently yes... it is... I tried treats... I tried milk.. I tried sneaking up on her... and when all that failed I resorted to screaming "F U" at the top of my lungs! It finally took starting my truck and sitting there for 4 minutes and finally the stupid little shit decided she would come along... HA... GOTCHA! Of course that was followed by me carrying her to the house to throw her in while screaming.. "What the F is the matter with you!"
*sigh... yes.. I am throughly ashamed... but you know what... I also somehow feel cleansed... renewed even.. I guess everyone needs a good screaming fit every now and then and I certainly had mine this morning... so okay... we're back to normal now... hopefully it'll be another 10 years before I sink to that crude and ignorant level again... at least I'm sure the F'in neighbors are hoping so!
Later...
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