I'm gonna sue I tell you... just for the sheer frustration of it all.. AND if their lousy directions doesn't get us an extra million dollar settlement, nothing will.. If you've been reading along here, you know we are in the process of some home improvements, namely, finishing a new room in the basement.. We've been plugging away at this project since that 'tax-free' day when in a fit of madness we went to Lowes and purchased everything for the new room.. from the carpeting, to the ceiling tiles, to the electrical wire.. everything.. right down to the putty knife to spread the 5 gallon pail of wall spackle..
Now, to be clear, we are no strangers to home improvements.. we built our entire house ourselves... purchasing what has to be the biggest piece of unfinished furniture in the world, a log-home kit.. my own fingerprints, tears, blood and sweat are on EVERY freakin' log in this house.. I spent 8 month swinging a 7 pound sledghammer driving 10 inch spikes, every 2 feet, in every course of logs.. mark my words, we are not 'virgin carpenters'.. we've done it all.. from building walls, to laying tile, to running electrical wiring.. so what is it that has us so frustrated.. those freakin' bi-fold closet doors.. we spent an ENTIRE day trying to figure these things out.. we built and re-built the closet opening no less than 4 times trying to get these things to fit! So where were the rough opening dimensions? Which by the way, is the MOST important part of installing doors.. they must have been the first thing in the instructions right? WRONG... one little sticker on the outside of the box and that was it.. we started with their minimum height 'suggestion' - went to install the doors and couldn't get the freakin things in the opening.. there was absolutely NO wiggle room to manuever them into place.. so.. rip that down and make the opening the size of the maximum suggested opening.. well.. we got the doors in, but one of us would have had to spend the rest of our lives holding the doors in place cause as soon as you let it go it would fall out of the little metal holders and crash to the floor.. so.. rip it down and try again.. this went on ALL DAY! Put them in, take them out, adjust the frame, and put them in again.. hours later, we finally have closet doors.. wonderful you say.. not really.. even after an extra hour of adjusting these damn things we still can't get them level with each other to say nothing of the huge gap at the top of the doors! I'm gonna sue I tell you or at least make a nasty phone call! I even looked for the website of the manufacturer of these instruments of home improvement torture.. but no.. no website.. no 800 number.. just an address.. in freakin' Canada... I'm sure they have a phone, everyone has to have a phone right? How else can Lowes call them and say "Hey, Dudes.. we sold 10 more sets of your doors last month and all 10 of them were returned by previously happy homeowners, who now have bloody knuckles, high blood pressure, and are missing half the hair off the tops of their heads."
OH.. don't you worry.. I'm gonna track these people down if it's the last thing I do.. even if I have to do it the old fashioned way and take pen to paper and slap a stamp on an envelope.. I'm sure they have a 'special' file bin just for letters like mine.. but just knowing that my letter will, for a few seconds, be on the top of their wastebasket will have to be enough.. Yeah.. I'll do that.. as soon as the broken blood vessel in my left eye clears up and I can see out of it again...
Later...
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