As you may know, I've got a "woman's best friend".. an angry little Corgi-Jack named Gretchen... Gretchen and I have a special relationship... I do everything she wants and things are good.. and that about sums it up.. this 16 pound dog has taken over my home life.. I no longer am allowed to sit on the sofa alone, the little dog has to sit on my lap... I am escorted to the bathroom where she waits patiently outside the door and if I forget the make sure the door completely 'catches' the entire house gets a free peak courtesy of Gretchen jumping at the door and knocking it open.. I cook in front of a very attentive audience of one blonde.. I eat in front of that same audience... we've had to install a makeshift barrier on the stairs so that I may be allowed to sleep in peace.. she was allowed to sleep with us, but the morning I awoke to a fuzzy little body curled up under the blanket next to me and rolled over to come nose to wet nose on my pillow that was the end of that!
Well.. due to schedules and the icey storm I spent the last 5 days working from the house, Oh.. lucky doggie days.. all day attention.. as I plugged away at the computer on the kitchen table the little dog happily snoozed on the sofa taking occasional breaks to come in and see what I was doing, insisting with a determined wet nose, that I pat her... give her a cookie... no, not the cookie, a chewie this time please... let her in.. let her out.. I ended each work day with a pile of stuffed toys scattered around my chair.. brought to me one by one to play tug with.. her favorite being the unstuffed, legless, armless, tailless monkey carcass..
Well... yesterday I actually made it in to the office... went on a couple of outside calls with my office mates.. and as luck would have it.. encountered an office with nothing other than "an office Corgi"... a friendly little girl named Lindy with one floppy ear and a passion for bellyrubs.. and OH.. but how I paid for that little indiscretion.. upon returning home I was assaulted at the door by one very angry, very jealous little pooch.. and the games began.. I must be made to pay.. pay dearly.. you left me alone... you cheated on me... who is she and how could you have rubbed her belly? I was immediately set upon and not left alone for a second right up until bed time.. sitting on my lap was not enough.. no.. not today.. "Today I must sit on her and strategically place my wet nose one inch from hers and stare into those cheating eyes of hers... she will not watch tv... she will not be allowed to drink from her glass.. she will look at me and only me until she realizes the error of her ways.." and so it went.. I was stared at.. stomped on.. made to play 'quadrapalgic monkey' for an hour straight.. sniffed at... swiped with a wet nose.. until I couldn't stand it anymore and strolled off to bed a half hour early.. and what have we learned from all this? Well, I don't know about you, but I learned.. don't leave the dog alone after 5 days of being there for her and never, ever pat another dog and then come home and think I can get away with it... I'll be a good human from now on.. I promise... Can I have a treat now?
Later...
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