Friday, October 05, 2007

Gimme another reason - and my freakin' pennies!

Nope, no photo to go with this post. I did have an old shot that I've posted before from McDonald's but if I put up the same photo twice, my Southern Blonde sister gets confused so I won't do that to her. Perhaps she's been in the "slow south" a little too long? ;)

So. As you may or may not be aware, my son and his girlfriend have moved backed into the house this past weekend. All and all I'd say their moving in has been great. Alot less intrusive and crowded than I though it would be, but one side-effect has been the food situation.

Just as I was about to head to the kitchen yesterday and make my lunch I heard drawers sliding, cabinets slamming and general "I'm cooking" sounds coming from in there. I rounded the corner to find my son making sammich's for him and Sasha... I decided to have a seat at the table and chat with him as he cooked for them. When he was done I went to make my lunch only to find out that not only was he done, but so was the lovely left over steak from last nite's supper, the butt end of the crusty french loaf, and the incredibly creamy mild cheddar. Damn... a half hour late and a sammich short. So. To keep from passing out between the film developer and the camera bar at work last nite, I decided to leave for work a half hour early and swing through McDonald's to get myself some sustenance.

Anyway, I digress.. McDonald's. OY... Like anyone needs another reason to dislike them. Their food is usually enough, but no, they have to go and add really crappy customer service to the mix. But, let's begin at the beginning.

Unsuspectingly... I pulled into the lot and walked in and ordered my lunch. The least offensive thing I could think of on their menu... Chicken Selects... You know.. they are kind of like the old "Chicken McNuggets" only these haven't been pre-chewed for you. So.. I ordered up and then the fun began.

I handed the cashier my $6 and she reached into the drawer to get me my 24 cents change. Withdrawing her hand and extending it over the counter to me, I notice that it contains only 2 thin dimes. 20 cents. Puzzled, I looked at her. Apparently she was quick enough to recognize that patented "WTF" look that I've mastered so very well and she quickly stated: "I'm sorry, I don't have any pennies. Is that ok?"...

Huh?

So, talking slower now so that I could understand her as the look on my face had gone from "WTF" to "You've got to be kidding me." Which apparently I haven't mastered quite as well and some people interpret it as "I'm not that intelligent, I don't understand you, and would you say that again.. only s l o w e r . . ."

"I don't have any pennies. Is This O K ?"

I considered her suggestion and almost said "OH.. no problem.. when you get your pennies, just put my 4 cents here in the Clown House bucket as a donation."

And then my brain started up.

Uh oh... never a good sign...

Never...

It started whispering stuff like:

-"That is just SO wrong."

-"What kind of customer service is this?"

-"She's not gonna just give me a quarter and call it even?"

-"WHY is she asking me this?"

Now it's all kind of a blur from there but I believe at that point I did something uber smart.. like.. you know...

Laugh in her face.

and replied with...

"Let me get this straight. YOU don't have any pennies... So you want to short me FOUR cents? How about THIS. YOU give ME a quarter. And that way instead of shorting me... THE CUSTOMER.. FOUR CENTS... you only short YOURSELF.. ONE PENNY!"

I admit at that point... I was still laughing at her.

And her reply?

"But then my drawer will be off by a penny at the end of the night."

My mind then went into "hype-drive-beam-me-up-Scotty mode"...

In flash I contemplated at least 20 different replies to that statement. Including, but not limited to:

- "And if you short me, my pocket will be off by FOUR cents at the end of the night."

- "If your off by a penny and the Manager gives you crap about it, Honey.. you SO need a new job."

- "SO?"

I settled on the following:

"How is it MY problem that you don't have any pennies?"

At this point... to her final credit.. she came across with my freakin' quarter...

Now... I'm not dumb enough to turn my back on someone that I've just had a go round with as they are preparing anything that I intend to put into my mouth, so I was watching her VERY carefully as she packaged up my food. And what do I see and hear but my lovely cashier yappin' it up with the 'fry girl'... Now.. I didn't catch it all.. but I did catch the attitude that she added with a flourish as she said "How is that MY problem."

OH FREAKIN' MY...

Wrong answer. Wrong attitude. Wrong. Wrong. Freakin' WRONG.

"Make-it-so-Jean-Luc" and we're off to hyper-drive again. I considered the following:

- "I'd like to see the Manager. NOW!"

- "LET ME EXPLAIN A BIT ABOUT CUSTOMER SERVICE TO YOU IDIOTS!"

- "Ever hear the term the customer is always right? That means when you can't accommodate the customer's needs. LIKE THEIR FREAKIN" CORRECT CHANGE. You don't ask THEM to give anything up. YOU SACRIFICE THE COMPANIES PENNY..."

As she made her way back to the counter with my bag of lunch, I quickly settled on "the HIGH road."

"Excuse me, but I'm standing right here, and I heard what you just said to her. I think you should know that that was INCREDIBLY rude. I can't believe you just did that. That was just so RUDE."

Her reply, mumbled now.. was something to the effect of:

"She's the one that has to go get me pennies when she's done over there, so I was just letting her know what happened."

So.. I reiterated my stance that "Asking the CUSTOMER to take the hit when you don't have the correct change to give them is absolutely WRONG and perhaps the worst customer service I've ever had. You just have a yourself a GREAT day, now."

I grabbed my bag of lunch before she could change her mind and do something horrible to my sweet and sour dipping sauce... and walked away.

It was a freakin' PENNY. But I sure as heck got my money's worth outta that exchange.

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