A crappy poem

For a crappy year:

Ode to 2004!

It’s New Year’s Eve,
Let’s raise a glass to 2004,
Say goodbye to the old,
and prepare for more.

We all lost a lot,
that we hold dear,
Ray Charles and Julia Child,
all in one very short year.

A thousand soldiers,
they will not come back.
They gave their lives,
in the war in Iraq.

Indonesia is devastated,
so many are gone.
The world will rally,
and help them to move on.

So let’s raise a glass,
and drink it on down.
Last year was crap,
but let’s not frown.

Soon a new year,
2005, it will be..
So keep the bottle handy,
and hold your breath with me!

A bonus..

Here's a years end bonus for you... if only we could all be that relaxed!

Not so angry now is she?

Later...

Photo for ya'

I'm at a little bit of a loss for words as far as the end of 2004 goes right now... although.. I'm sure I'll have plenty to say later... so anyway.. here's todays newest photo to keep you busy and reward you for clicking on my blog...
Thanks so much...
Later...

How come?

Points to ponder:

• How come some psychic didn't 'see' the devastation in Indonesia months ago?
• Why are pistachio's dyed red?
• Why does my man-child actually know the answer to the above question? Complete with the explanation of the term "caught red-handed"... (leave a comment if you know why too!)
• What exactly is in a Pepperoni?
• If you are what you eat, how come I don't have chocolatey skin and a creamy peanut butter center?
• Why do we make New Years Resolutions? You know they aren't gonna last!
• How come the stupid little angry dog makes 3 times the mess that my regular size dog used to?
• How come you have to tell the pizza guys in Easthampton that your order is 'for pickup' when you call? Isn't that a given? Do people usually call, place an order, and then just say "No.. I'm not gonna pick it up, I just wanted you to make it"... Aren't the majority of phone orders "pickups"... Cut to the chase people.. how about I'll tell you if I'm gonna eat it there, but for the most part, you can assume that if I'm callin'... I'm pickin' up... and that goes for me wanting it delivered as well.. I'll let you know.. otherwise.. it's ok.. you can assume!
• and finally.. for now... Why do Pirates wear earrings?

Later...

Geekdom

I'm sure most offices this morning had the usual gathering around the water cooler with discussions of what super cool/funny/dramatic/reality television show everyone watched last nite... My office was no different - or was it? Turns out we all watched the same program last nite - a riveting program on nothing other than "String Theory" courtesy of Nova and PBS... it really was fascinating, but I've always been a fan of Nova programs... as the discussion turned to the 11 dimensions and membranes in space I could only shake my head and smile... "What a bunch of Geeks we are!" and the really amazing thing is we will all admit it... not too many years ago "Geek" was a curse.. a taunt.. something to be hidden away and not discussed... now we wear it proudly and admit it freely... times have changed... and thank goodness for that... there really is nothing like a good 'quantum physics' discussion first thing in the morning!

Later...

Taking Advantage

Once again I have avoided the 9 2 Bay 2 9 2 10 drive... My office mates have got to be wondering if they will ever see me again.. Oh.. I'll be back at it, but for the time being I'm going to take advantage.. several of my busiest clients have taken this week off - so the instant messenger is blissfully quiet... my next face-to-face meeting isn't scheduled until thursday... everything else can be accomplished from the home office... the man-child has winter break from college... the husband has the week off from work... so everyone is home.. including me... I tell you, if you haven't switched to a laptop computer yet, do it NOW! Every nite I pack up my work and I bring it home with me from the office.. actually that sounds kind of horrible.. who would sign up for that... bringing work home.. well, let me tell you, it's great... if the next morning I wake up to find that the husband has a flat tire, or the kids car won't start, it's a simple matter to send them off in my truck while I labor from home, never even missing a beat.. Get dumped on by 6 inches of snow - I'm not driving in it! Nothing to wear - I'll work in my jammies! Bad hair day - no one has to know!

Of course it helps that I have my business calls routed to my cell phone - I can talk to clients for hours on end and not one of them even suspects that I'm standing in my kitchen while I discuss their website with them.. the only thing I haven't managed to do is to make sure I take all those paper files with me.. I try to make sure the office is as "paperless" as possible but that never seems to be the case - there's always those pesky scrap notes that I've taken while on the phone - printed receipts for purchases - usernames - passwords - etc. that never seem to be in the same place I am when I need them... there's got to be a better way... so I think for this years New Years Resolution - that will be it.. try and mobilize my office completely... Oh, I'll still have the paper goods mess - you have to... there's nothing like a complete hard drive meltdown when it contains the only copy of the website password for your biggest client (note to self - add more frequent hard drive backups to the New Years Resolution!) but at least if I have both a digital copy and a paper copy of everything, I'll stand a better chance of having what I need, where I need it, when I need it!

So that's it.. a more organized mobile workplace for me for New Years and while I organize for the annual tax time ritual it's a great time to start... I'll call you and let you know how I did, but I'm sure your phone number will be written on the back of an envelope, sitting on a desk at least a half an hours drive away!

Later....

Fireplace cooking - part 2

We seem to be on a fireplace cooking spree lately - Christmas Eve it was a weenie roast - which turned out great by the way - we all managed to get our fill of crispy dogs - without interference from the stupid little angry dog... it wasn't easy keeping the dog away from the dogs, but we managed it.. it was delicious - and fun to boot!

Tonite we moved on to more gourmet type cooking - well - gourmet by 9 2 Bay 2 9 10 standards... Baked potatoes! Very easy.. wash 'em.. poke 'em with a fork a few times... triple wrap them in aluminum foil - and toss them into the coals.. turn them after a half hour... leave 'em alone for another half hour... and eat.... if you like them crispy though - you can take them from the coals and put them into the flames for a few minutes (still wrapped).. so that was dinner.. baked potatoes with broccoli in cheese sauce topping, and a half a loaf of foccacia bread (slightly warmed in the oven)... yummy! A nice warm easy meal for a snowy sunday evening... and light years better than a ham sandwich!

Later...

It's over...

What a lovely Holiday... yes, it was.. Lovely.. and I hope that your celebrations were all lovely as well.. As I sit here typing on my new wireless keyboard and mouse set, drinking my coffee from my new "anti-electrocutionary" coffee pot (nope, not a typo, my old coffee pot was an electrocution waiting to happen!), I am still filled with the wonderful Christmas spirit..

The man-child seems very happy with the selections that Santa made for him. I got to spend yesterday afternoon ensconced with some of the newest 'baby' members of my husbands family - there really is nothing sweeter than babies at Christmas.. The only thing missing was my 'family christmas' and if you read, you know that we did that last weekend instead of Christmas nite.. OH.. but I did get to talk to a couple of them yesterday though.. Seems there was a small gathering of my family at my Mom's yesterday while I was at the in-laws.. How do I know? They called me, on my Father-in-laws house phone because for once I didn't have the cell phone with me... What was so urgent that they had to track me down? Computer problems of course! So there I sat, on my in-laws sofa, surrounded by the love and joy that is Christmas - troubleshooting the old computer that I gave my Mother a couple of years ago - I KNEW I should have made that t-shirt.. you know the one... "Yes, I will fix your computer, but I'm taking your Christmas presents back!!!" So anyway, it's official, I can put "tech-support available 365 days a year" on my company website and REALLY mean it! Truth in advertising.. it's a special thing... I'm already looking forward to next year, I think I'm gonna invite my little brother over for Christmas and ask him to mud the drywall in other half of the cellar, and I'll get sister Jeannette over here too and get her to spot me while I eat my dinner.. I only wish I had a 'mechanic' sibling that I could ask to change the oil in my truck on Christmas day, but I got a construction worker and a nursing assistant instead.. Oh well.. they'll have to do..

Anyway.. here on 9 2 Bay 2 9 2 10 - we are all appropriately happy and satisfied and sufficiently exhausted to consider the 2004 Holiday Season a rousing success! I hope you all are still filled with the wonder and joy of the holiday as well..

Later..
OH.. and ps.. Deb.. could I get you to come over next "family Christmas" and get your official realtor opinion on the value of my home? We'll do that computer upgrade to Evan's computer that we discussed at the family christmas this year, while we're at it...

Merry Christmas Eve!

So here at 9 2 Bay 2 9 10 we are a very traditional family.. as in, we have many, many traditions.. especially Christmas Traditions.. So the man-child is 19 (so it was previously reported that the man-child was 20, he actually just turned 19 - bad mommy!) but that doesn't stop him from still wanting the old Christmas Traditions that we've honored since he was knee-high to a reindeer.. oh.. he'll argue that he's too old for a reading of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" before bed tonite, but if last year was any indication, he'll be smiling by the end of it.. so this year may be a little different seeing Mom & Dad are ready for bed at 8:30pm and the man-child stays up till who knows when.. but we're doing it just the same.. if we have to force him into his room and MAKE him sit and listen while we read, he's gonna get a dose of it tonite.. well... techinically we don't read.. several years ago we gave away all his children's books - and our copy of 'Twas went with them... so we do it from Mom's admittedly shaky memory... you try it some time.. (tonite would be optimal!).. it ends up being a rambling, disorderly, half madeup version that is just too much fun for words.. much more fun than just a straight forward traditional reading..

Another tradition is the annual Christmas Eve weenie roast.. just like it sounds - cut some sticks.. get some hot dogs (natural casing of course, yum!).. the buns and fixings.. and light a roaring fire in the fireplace.. as much fun as a weenie roast is over a campfire, one in the living room over the fireplace is even more special! Although, this year we may have to forgo the weenie roast, frankly, we're a little concerned how the angry little dog will respond to hot meat on a stick.. 2 of her favorite things.. meat.. and sticks.. it's a Corgi-Jack accident just begging to happen.. at the very least we suspect that the only one of us that would actually get fed is the angry little dog.. Oh well.. we'll figure it out..

Presents under the tree! Yeah!! We have a strict rule - NO presents under the tree until Christmas Eve.. this year wasn't too difficult to honor this tradition considering we only put the tree up on Monday.. it just makes the 'present pile' that much more awe inspiring when it does appear...

Christmas breakfast... Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls from a can.. these things will kill ya' if eaten on a regular basis.. but once a year never hurt anyone.. and they fill the house with that lovely cinnamony smell for hours afterwards.. an easy breakfast with a bonus.. lovely...

So.. Merry Christmas Eve from 9 2 Bay 2 9 2 10!

Christmas Quickies...

So I think I've found the secret to Christmas shopping.. go early in the morning.. and I mean EARLY.. in just 2 days of early morning shopping before work I've managed to get all my shopping done! Woohoo.. now I just have to wrap and bake, and I can sit back and enjoy!

The weather has definitely warmed up.. warm and rainy today.. although the side roads were quite the ice covered mess.. and of course.. driving still is not a picnic.. all that road salt and sand is kicked up onto your windshield.. make sure your windshield washer fluid is topped off! I tell you, I blame the cost-cutting measures by the automakers for this one.. if you notice.. none of the new vehicles come with mud flaps as standard anymore.. next time your on the highway take note of the plume of water coming from the non-flapped vehicle versus the flapped vehicle.. then get behind the guy with the flaps.. the visibility difference is HUGE!

What is with Target? First they refuse to let the Salvation Army bellringers collect outside their stores and now, as I worked my way thru their aisles this morning, dead silence.... not a Christmas Carol to be heard.. not even the 'normal' musac.. nothing... bah freakin' humbug... although they did have a great deal on a Chenille blankie - 25 bucks! Warm, soft, cozy goodness.. Perfect for the mother-in-law that is always cold (and doesn't know this blog exists so there's no chance of her reading it)!

Anyway.. that's it for now.. you may get lucky and get more later.. we'll just have to wait and see if I can blog after a couple of bottles of Christmas Cheer! So if I'm not back here and you are.. Merry.. Merry Christmas Dearest Readers! May your days be merry and brite.. and may all your Christmas' be filled with joy! (I bet you thought I was gonna say 'white' didn't you! HA!)


Later...

Toe Jam?

So, I took my own advice and have been listening to the Windows Media Player "Holiday Pop" Christmas Music... Some of them are very nice.. some are a little 'out there'.. but hey, what do you want for free? But... this one is too much.. Luther, you should be ashamed of yourself.. yes.. Luther Vandross singing "Mistletoe Jam"... it was actually kind of pleasant.. until I realized I was singing "... toe jam"... huh? Toe Jam? Really... would I lie to you? So it's official.. every possible Christmas song has now been written and recorded.. Toe Jam, indeed! :)

Later...

Frozen Assets...

Remind me again why I live in New England? It was a balmy degree out this morning.. no.. that's not a typo.. it was 'A degree' as in ONE... ONE DEGREE! Singular... Un... Uno... ONE! Everything was frozen solid.. it took me 5 minutes to get my frozen truck door open and by the time I did, I was frozen... even the stupid little angry dog, who usually is the first one to bolt out the door, stood in the open doorway, looked out, shivered, looked up at me as if to say "Are you freakin' NUTS Lady? I don't have to go THAT bad!", and promptly turned around and jumped back into her spot on the sofa.. gee thanks.. so I not only have to go out in the cold, but I've got to do it alone now too.. lovely.. thanks so much!

So after much scraping and pre-heating.. I was on my merry frozen way.. only to discover that the 116 and Bay section was glare ice.. after a couple of miles of 20 mph and watching the ugly mini-van in front of me spend more time going sideways than straight I've decided perhaps I'll skip the Bay cutoff tonite and fight my way thru the lovely Amherst traffic.. better slow than crashed I suppose..

Stay warm.. Later...

Welcome, new readers...

Well.. I've heard thru the grapevine.. and email.. that I've got a couple new family member readers.. wonderful.. welcome Ladies! Now if I could just get my own husband to read it as well.. really.. and it's not like there isn't some useful information in here.. take for instance the "Quickie" post" I did.. (scroll down a little).. you know.. the one where I mention how the State Police have been sitting outside of the Old Dorey Jeep.. useful info right? You'd think.. Well.. it seems that the husband and the man-child, off on their annual Christmas Shopping spree - encountered some flashing blue lights.. and no.. they weren't at K-Mart experiencing one of their blue-light specials.. they were passing by, you guessed it, the old Dorey Jeep building... *sigh.. luckily they only got a "Christmas Verbal Warning".. lovely.. I always suspected he ignored what I said - I guess it's spread to what I write now too! Love you too Honey! :)

Later..

Christmasy!

So.. Christmasy enough for ya? If this doesn't get you in the Christmas Spirit.. I don't know what will.. we've got a ton of the fresh white fluffy stuff out there... and it's still coming down.. the kids all got a bonus snow day.. although the Colleges have got to be freaking out.. it's finals week.. STCC already double booked alot of their finals, throw in a 2 hour delay and it's going to be madness.. luckily my man-child wasn't scheduled for one today, so he's home today - and so am I.. not even gonna attempt my 9 2 Bay 2 9 2 10 trip - I'll be safely ensconced in my new home office (which came out lovely - btw!)

By the way, that is the word for the week "ensconced".. (and yes, I spelled that one right - thank you Merriam Webster..)

Main Entry: en·sconce
Pronunciation: in-'skän(t)sFunction: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): en·sconced; en·sconc·ingEtymology: en- + 2sconce
1 : SHELTER, CONCEAL
2 : ESTABLISH, SETTLE (ensconced in a new job)


So do something Christmasy.. put some carols on the stereo.. build a snowman.. decorate.. make some cookies.. write some letters to Santa with your kids.. and just enjoy the lovely snowy day - safely ensconced in your own little world - and don't forget to use the word ensconced in a sentence at least once a day..
Later...

A Fun Christmas Game...

As you may know we are having our family Christmas today..  wahoo!  I've still got shopping to do..  luckily it doesn't start till 6pm..  It shouldn't be too difficult - only one game gift to buy..  Yes.. we have the traditional "Christmas Card Game" at our gatherings..  most people play this game a little differently than us.. here are the rules in case you have no idea what I'm talking about..

Here's what you need:

   Everyone brings a generic gift (we limit to under 20 bucks)

   2 decks of playing cards (we actually have to use 4 - everyone needs to be able to receive 3 cards from one deck - we've got too many people so we go to 4 decks - 2 decks with different designs for handing out - and 2 decks for 'calling')

 

Ok..  everyone puts their wrapped gift in the center of the table and receives 3 playing cards.. 

 

the caller then begins calling out the cards from the second deck - if your card gets called - you get to pick a gift.. and here's where it gets good..  you can pick from the table.. OR you can steal a gift that someone else has chosen...  great fun.. you get to steal that interesting looking present from your little brother and he HAS to give it to you!

 

UNLESS.. and this is very important..  the gift was chosen with his 3rd and last card.. that is known as his "keeper".. 

 

Alot of people play this game but as the participants select their first gift they unwrap it..  we prefer to leave people in suspense.. keeping all the gifts wrapped until the final person has their 'keeper'.. 

 

We've seen all kinds of things brought as gifts - from really nice blankets and sweatshirts to a 5 pound tin of MRE (military food "meals ready to eat") of peas and carrots..  (that one made an appearance at 4 Christmas games until little brother got really hungry and really broke one year and actually ate it!  Now THATS hunger!)

 

It's great fun..  really like being a kid again, where greed and torment are a natural occurance..  usually there is one particularly attractive gift that gets stolen repeatedly and passed among 3 or 4 people, only to be opened and found to be a roll of paper towels and a bottle of windex..  awesome..

 

So we all get to be mean and steal each others gifts while we have the excitement of trying to guess what's in the brightly wrapped packages..

 

Then.. once everyone has their "keeper" we go around the table one by one and open what we managed to snag..  it's fun not only seeing what you ended up with, but to see what you passed up or had stolen from you.. and then..  the trading begins..  watch as the poor person that got stuck with the tacky chip and dip bowl tries to trade it for that really cool flashlight...  ok..  lets trade the dip bowl for the crossword puzzle book, and then try and trade that for the flashlight.. 

 

Oh the joy..  it really has become the highlight of our family christmas gatherings.. the entire family gets into it.. selecting the perfect gift - either funny or wonderful - wraps them as attractively and as disguised as possible - and sneaks them into the house so no one knows who brought what (that's another fun aspect - trying to figure out who brought the MRE! (it was my husband who started it btw!))

 

Anyway..  I hope you'll consider adding this game to your family gathering - it really is alot of fun - just like being a kid again... 

Later..  I'll let you know what I manage to snag..

ps..  if you need more-better instructions, drop me a comment and I'll clarify..

I have not forsaken you...

Sorry for the lack of post-age here lately, but with the Holidays fast upon us all, my life has gone into hyperdrive...  as I'm sure everyone else's has as well..  oh.. but I got an added bonus this year.. my 'family christmas' has been bumped up a week this year.. as luck would have it my 'missing sister' is going to be in Mass this coming weekend - she hasn't been able to attend a family christmas since moving her clan to Georgia around 10 years ago - so we've decided to do Christmas early so she and her family can participate!  Wonderful idea - but it deducted a week from my shopping calendar.. Oh well.. for the joy of seeing Deb - I can deal.. Add in the extra holiday work from clients (we want 3 newsletters this week - not 1!) my work load has tripled..  thank you so much.. that's ok.. it'll be awesome when I get triple the pay as well!

 

Anyway.. excuses, excuses... I'll try and do better and post every day..  in between shopping.. cooking.. wrapping.. triple work loads.. and putting up the Christmas tree (maybe we'll just have to start a new tradition - the tree goes up on Christmas eve.. yeah.. right!) I'll keep posting.. really I will..

Later...

And our first award...

Goes to:

CINGULAR WIRELESS

Yes.. congratulations to Cingular Wireless.. for making my life a living hell every 31 days.

In December 2003 I foolishly signed up on the internet for Cingular Wireless family plan, complete with 3 phones and their corresponding phone lines.. Upon receiving the new phones, with much anticipation, we booted those puppies up, only to discover that we had no service at our lovely country home.

After receiving the appropriate permission, we returned the phones, per their directions, only to be hit with an 'early cancellation fee'.. I of course called and fought the charges, which, to their credit was removed, save the $50 "Activation fee"... although I argued that "How can you charge me an activation fee, when the phones were never able to be activated!" my pleas fell on deaf ears and I was consequently charged $50 for the pleasure of this hassle...

OH.. but that's not all.. every month since then - for one FULL year! I have received a Cingular Wireless bill for 1 of the 3 phone numbers... I then get the pleasure of calling their lovely tech support people, repeating my story to 5 different people, hearing them apologize for the problem, admitting they have no idea why it won't cancel, reversing my charges, and promising that it will never happen again.. 45 minutes out of my life... every month.. for the last year! So I've started talking to supervisors.. I'm on my third.. Mr. Robert "Thureau" Smith.. He assured me 2 months ago that his middle name is not "Thorough" for nothing.. that he will thoroughly resolve this matter for me.. (yeah, I laughed out loud at him!) and here's my email address just in case.. right.. like a bad penny, my wireless bill appeared in my mailbox last month.. and did I receive even a 'read receipt' from my email that my message was received? ummm.. NO... so.. here I sit.. in my own little cell phone hell.. anxiously awaiting my next Cingular bill (I've already received email notification that the online version of my bill is now available... Oh the FREAKIN' JOY of it all!), that I'm sure will have a late fee on it because Mr. Thorough never got my email and reversed out the charges from last month..

So yes.. Cingular Wireless.. Congratulations... I can't think of anyone else that deserves the honor of the very first "Silver Toilet Paper Award" more than you! So let's all "belly up to the bar" and raise a glass to Cingular... cause you know I'm gonna need a drink!

Later...

New Award Announced!

Occasionally here on 9 2 Bay 2 9 2 10 I tend to go off on a rant about something or other (surprised?). Well it occurs to me that I should offer some kind of Award for these annoyances and then I received an email that brought it all to a 'head'.. the perfect award was handed to me by Sarge.. So without further ado.. allow me to introduce the all new

"Silver Toilet Paper Award!"

In the truest tradition of all Awards, the Silver Toilet Paper Award shall be used sparingly - and only awarded to the most deserving a**holes.

The committee for nominations of this newest award shall consist of one, ME.

This committee shall not be influenced by outside ranters unless they are able to produce a candidate so worthy, so deserving, that this committee cannot help but nod knowingly in agreement with their assessment of the possible candidate.

The decision of this committee shall be final and irreversible.

The Silver Toilet Paper Award is non-returnable, non-refundable, and non-redeemable. Do not even attempt to notify the committee of the redeemable behaviour of the Award winners, once an award winner, always an award winner.

In consideration of a nominee, this committee promises to perform due diligence on the worthiness of the potential award winner and will only apologize to unjustly awarded awardee's when this committee encounters giant pigs flying thru a raging blizzard in Belize.

All nominations are final and no amount of pissing and moaning shall influence the committee. Should this committee receive a complaint, the complaintant should expect to be the next nominee considered for this award.

Sincerely,

The Nomination Committee for the Silver Toilet Paper Award

A sad detour...

Driving home last nite that damn Northampton/Hadley bridge was just jam packed...  after fighting my way thru I was greeted by a "road closed" sign blocking off the Bay Road cutoff.. luckily I was able to take the next entrance onto my favorite ride, the cops had just blocked off the small cutoff road..  there was a fire engine.. several cruisers, many many people and the place was lit up brighter than a Christmas tree..  Assuming it was a driver that had missed that last curve before the stop, I whispered a little "hope their all right" and went on my way..  Well... reading the news on Masslive.com today I found the real story.. it seems they were searching the woods last nite, looking for the shotgun that was used in that horrible murder up in Amherst the other nite..  from the sounds of what has been released to the press so far..  it was a case of friend killing friend.. so very sad...  22 years old...  one is dead, the other in ruins..  they have yet to release a motive in this case.. although the mother of the alleged shooter has referred to her 'criminal-justice-student son's steriod withdrawal'..  it sounds like the young man will get an education in the criminal justice system - first-hand... 

 

Later...

Dog Tales...

As you may know, I've got a "woman's best friend".. an angry little Corgi-Jack named Gretchen... Gretchen and I have a special relationship... I do everything she wants and things are good.. and that about sums it up.. this 16 pound dog has taken over my home life.. I no longer am allowed to sit on the sofa alone, the little dog has to sit on my lap... I am escorted to the bathroom where she waits patiently outside the door and if I forget the make sure the door completely 'catches' the entire house gets a free peak courtesy of Gretchen jumping at the door and knocking it open.. I cook in front of a very attentive audience of one blonde.. I eat in front of that same audience... we've had to install a makeshift barrier on the stairs so that I may be allowed to sleep in peace.. she was allowed to sleep with us, but the morning I awoke to a fuzzy little body curled up under the blanket next to me and rolled over to come nose to wet nose on my pillow that was the end of that!

Well.. due to schedules and the icey storm I spent the last 5 days working from the house, Oh.. lucky doggie days.. all day attention.. as I plugged away at the computer on the kitchen table the little dog happily snoozed on the sofa taking occasional breaks to come in and see what I was doing, insisting with a determined wet nose, that I pat her... give her a cookie... no, not the cookie, a chewie this time please... let her in.. let her out.. I ended each work day with a pile of stuffed toys scattered around my chair.. brought to me one by one to play tug with.. her favorite being the unstuffed, legless, armless, tailless monkey carcass..

Well... yesterday I actually made it in to the office... went on a couple of outside calls with my office mates.. and as luck would have it.. encountered an office with nothing other than "an office Corgi"... a friendly little girl named Lindy with one floppy ear and a passion for bellyrubs.. and OH.. but how I paid for that little indiscretion.. upon returning home I was assaulted at the door by one very angry, very jealous little pooch.. and the games began.. I must be made to pay.. pay dearly.. you left me alone... you cheated on me... who is she and how could you have rubbed her belly? I was immediately set upon and not left alone for a second right up until bed time.. sitting on my lap was not enough.. no.. not today.. "Today I must sit on her and strategically place my wet nose one inch from hers and stare into those cheating eyes of hers... she will not watch tv... she will not be allowed to drink from her glass.. she will look at me and only me until she realizes the error of her ways.." and so it went.. I was stared at.. stomped on.. made to play 'quadrapalgic monkey' for an hour straight.. sniffed at... swiped with a wet nose.. until I couldn't stand it anymore and strolled off to bed a half hour early.. and what have we learned from all this? Well, I don't know about you, but I learned.. don't leave the dog alone after 5 days of being there for her and never, ever pat another dog and then come home and think I can get away with it... I'll be a good human from now on.. I promise... Can I have a treat now?

Later...